Sunday, May 14, 2006

HumpTea DumpTea

Teaing Off
Forgive me. I’m not usually this direct. It’s the chai, you see. The lack of subtlety, the insipidity, the sheer lactoseness of it all. It had been simmering for a while, and now the whistle blows. To-Wit. To-Wit. Lift me up and pour me out.


All Aboard!
It's been a while since I last visited thecuttingchai. In fact, truth be told, I had almost dismissed it as a fad, a whim, rather like me playing bass for the Lungi Tambis


The Lungi Tambis
Peer closely, kind reader, for your eyes are not what they once were. Look beyond the bald warbler, the one whose oesophagus is preparing itself for the sudden arrival of a cordless microphone.
Let your eyes wander not to the kurta-clad knave on the ostentatious guitar - a mere masquerader, he.
Look, instead, for the man in the middle, the one with the black guitar and the blood-and-tear soaked t-shirt. What's that you say? No, he is not asleep, you impertinent young whippersnapper.

The Lungi Tambis was a band that grew out of one bass guitarist's dream, a dream to come hurtling down to flights of stairs and break his leg in two places. And that was when I stepped in. Much like the Performing Flea I have always admired, I made the gathering of innocent onlookers laugh till they cried till they laughed again!


Part 1: The Performing Flea
Michael 'Flea' Balzary plays bass for Red Hot Chili Peppers. I don't like RHCP. I think Chili should have a 'y' at the end. Or at least two 'l's. Flea has also acted in the movies 'Back to the Future II and III' and 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas'. Fear and Loathing, I did like. It was directed by Terry Gilliam, the only American in Monty Python. Monty Python was predominantly British and, to a greater extent, funny. Which is exactly what the other Performing Flea was.


Part 2: The Performing Flea
"The playwright Sean O' Casey", says Wikipedia, "was a major Irish dramatist and memorist". And while the working classes of Dublin will, no doubt, say a little prayer for him between pints of Guinness, he will forever be remembered as the man who called Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse a small wingless insect of the order Siphonaptera.

Ol' PG rather liked that, of course; he named his memoirs 'Performing Flea'. As far as he was considered, a performing flea was something to be. (John Lennon thought that about a Working Class Hero, but by then, of course, the Yoko was on him! Ono, not again!)

Wodehouse made it all look so easy. The casual transferred epithet ("I pronged a moody forkful of eggs and b"), the magical turn of phrase ("He was a tubby little chap who looked like he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say 'when'") - so simple, yet so out of reach. The kind of writing that would make you want to scream "Pig-hoo-o-o-o-ey". And mean it!


Ph-thoo-o-o-ey
English tea is terrible. It has camomile and lavender and some of last night's Turkey and Gravy in it but it still tastes almost, but not quite, exactly unlike tea.

We're back. It's then end of the road, or, if you will, the Beginning.

19 comments:

Yohan said...

I shall forgive you for not calling me before leaving, on the condition that you continue giving us such exquisite writing.



English tea is horrid, isn't it?

Yohan said...

And since when do you play the bass?

kasewa said...

und du ist postedth on zee october the 31st? ow kan zat bee?

Good 'un, ol' chap. Send me that picture of your car. And the girl that came with it. =)

moo said...

English tea is the pits. The coffee's pretty bad too. But they make a mean pint of bitter!!

I played one memorable gig as bassist for the band. And then I retired...around about the time that smelly shoe went flying past my ear.

Don't worry about that date mentioned on the blog. I posted it last week. It must be the time difference or something!

Going to Scotland over the weekend to sample some of their fine whisky. Been preparing for it all week - read the Lonely Planet Guide, saw Braveheart and got my calf muscles in kilt-worthy shape!

The_UndeaD_ said...

Hahaha...Moo man.

moo said...

Madman! I was thinking about you the other day...went to your blog and everything!

How is that bald head? And Delhi?
And what are you doing in both of them?

The_UndeaD_ said...

The Bald head is more or less cultivated now...Medium formal haircut...Delhi is hot but my office has AC...got a marketing job...trying to up my work ex...Other than that..I am pretty fine...Work has made me a Fuch again...a new plane of exploration and experiments has begun...How are you da?...How is Kilara??...Whats your trip like?...

kasewa said...

okay i have to leave a comment for the wv...

wv:
ujufphbd - man on death row trying to say "oh just fuck off", right when the cyanide kicked in...

Yohan said...

"My office has AC".


Am I the only one who finds that funny?

moo said...

YJJ: An office with AC is a good thing! It keeps the hot air out.

MMC: My trip is brilliant in every way. Wrapping up my project now. Full fun.

Ate Haggis over the weekend. Threw up.

Yohan said...

Seriously?

Nisha said...

Anything that was cooked straight in the animal's stomach has to be gross. I don't wonder you puked

Aside from the haggis, hope you're having a nice holiday.

Yohan said...

Hee hee. He's not on holiday, he's working. "Selling salt to the Sahibs", were his words, I believe.




udfdqnf: Kerala coalitions, I tell you.

Mighty said...

I have to try Haggis when I go in August...

Dhruv Mookerji said...

Hey Moo!!!
I recognise u in the pic...the one on the right looks like nikhil banerji...who's on the left?
Maintain your blog more....I screwed up in the world of email...I'm not screwing up on blogosphere...gonna keep in good touch.

Vaibhav said...

Hello Sandeep,
This is one of things I always wanted to ask but was afraid to... you know.. ask..

whats the "Cutting Chai" thing? I can't figure it out even after well, thinking about it...

Trust you are well...

Vaibhav said...

Hello Sandeep,
I cheated and looked it up...

/hangs head/

/...but defiantly/

The Visitor said...

Hope this comment reaches you - Reached here from Zu's blog. I think that you might like to read Gounder Brownie.
Some select posts of GB:
GB speaks
Driven to it
Wherever you go our network follows.

The Visitor said...

You're a piscean? Shame on you! Most of my favorite bloggers are pisceans (including Brownie - who I might refer as favoritest), and you've stopped blogging!
No offence meant :)